It is true, we all have a default response on how we handle our emotions. We default to what is familiar and feels comfortable, even if that is pain or sadness.
Here are the three most common default emotions and how to balance them:
1. When you default emotion is something that is pulling you down where you experience sadness, doubt, fear, and worry it will take you away from the joy that you have the potential to experience but are missing out on.
When your mind shifts into the negative default of worry, doubt, shame, or sadness it is no longer living in the present and it is either holding onto the past or worrying about the future. The goal here is to shift the mind into the present.
Worry, fear and self doubt can account for a great deal of lost time that we will never get back. Rather than feeling imprisoned by your emotions, you can set it free by recognizing when you are stepping into a default emotion.
2. When your emotions are more reactive (when you feel like you are constantly putting your foot in your mouth you may be responding with a default emotion and not allowing your mind the time or space to think and process There is a protection or defense that comes into play,which inhibits the ability to see the logic of what is transpiring. At this time your brain is assuming the response before it has gather the facts.
This is when you want to hit the pause button. If need be, walk away and write down the thoughts that are coming to your mind before acting on them. Then give yourself time to speak to each of them and write down what you are feeling.You will be able to process your thoughts logically and differentiate fact from assumption.
With practice, eventually you will be able to react accordingly without stepping away but just like anything else it is a practice.
3. When your emotions are masked and not your own (AKA People-Pleasers / lack of boundaries) It is important when you feel yourself shutting down and simply doing, to avoid confrontation or disappointment that you reflect on your own personal needs.
Be aware if you are simply doing or saying yes so that you are liked, needed or simply don't rock the boat.
You will continuously feel unfulfilled or taken advantage of if you do not set healthy boundaries. In order to set these boundaries we must be away of our own inner values, morals, and needs.
Some self reflection is needed here, but you will find as you learn to create these healthy boundaries and meet your internal needs, not only will you feel more fulfilled but you will enhance the depth of those relationships around you. (and clear out those toxic people that do not contribute to you or the relationship)
If you are ready to do the deep dive into some self love, message me for 1:1 coaching and let's share this journey together.